Lord
Summervale: Welcome, ladies,
gentleman, and gribblies from across the Olde World to today's
Cabalvision IV coverage of the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled
Water Tournament qualifying round. We are deep in the Chaos Wastes
as the Chaos Goat Herders take on the Skaven Cheez-Ballerz to advance
to the semi-final round of the tournament.
Mad
Johan: Both of these teams are
new to the Deep North League- Southern Regional Conference. However,
in Pre-season play the Goat Herders seemed like you standard Chaos
psychopaths who preferred to smash face first and then let the
scoring work itself out.
Lord
Summervale: They played a
pretty tough, bashy team in the Forever Jackals,
but seemed to handle the undead players from Khemri with ease.
Mad
Johan: Today's opponent is a
very different style of play. As a skaven team they are fast and
sneaky. However, they aren't afraid to play a little rough with a
pair of Stormvermin blitzers. We have seen the Cheez-Ballerz not shy
away from running it up the gut, and be successful at it.
Lord
Summervale: The Cheez-baller
captain King Chedda' has taken to the field to a chorus of boos and
encouraging squeaks. Meanwhile, from the other dug-out comes the
Goat Herders' captain Asquith Kneecapper.
The
two teams exchange the customary pre-game handshake, but King Chedda'
looks a little worse for wear after a vigorous shaking by Asquith.
The ref flips the coin, and the Skaven win the toss. King Chedda'
elects to receive the kick-off to try to put some points on the
board.
Mad
Johan: We saw a similar tactic
from the other Skaven team in the tournament, Da' RatPackers. The strategy worked
for them as they scored early and advanced to the semi-finals in a
nail biter over the Ork Skulsmash reeverz.
Lord
Summervale: The two teams line
up for the kick. The Cheez-Ballerz have both Gutter Runnerz on the
field and their back-up thrower Mild Chedda' is in the dug-out. The
Goat Herders have a beastman runner, Payne ready in reserves.
Mad
Johan: Unsurprisingly, the
Cheez-Ballerz have the minimum number of players on the line. Both of
their Blitzers are on the near side of the field. Meanwhile, the
Goat Herders have stacked the line leaving only Todd Organgrinder and
Gore back as safeties.
Lord
Summervale: The kick is up.....
Boom! King Chedda' scampers over and picks-up the ball. The line
rats let out a squeal and put their backs into. They manage to push
the line of scrimmage back, while the Blitzers bust a hole on the
flanks. The Gutter Runners dash through the gap and make for the
back field.
Mad Johan: You
do not want those Gutter Runners loose in your back field. Now's the
time to try and take them out!
Lord Summervale: Indeed,
Gore comes up from his safety position and blitzes the lead Gutter
Runner, but can not make solid contact with the slippery rat.
Meanwhile, Winston Azhander lumbers through the line of scrimmage and
towards King Chedda'
Mad Johan: He
will never get there in time to stop the pass.
Lord Summervale: Meanwhile,
the far side defenders have dropped back from the line to act as a
deep defense.
Mad Johan: That
really opens the field up for this little blighters.
Lord Summervale: King
Chedda' steps up into the pocket created by his blitzers and dumps a
quick pass to Rotten Rochefort who turns up field and turns on the
speed.
Mad Johan: No
one can catch him....
Lord Summervale: ….
and just like that the Skaven have scored their first touch down.
Wow, that was fast.
Both
teams head back to the line and set-up for the kick. This time, the
Goat Herders are going to get the ball. They look like they are
ready to form a quick cage around the runner Grafitti. This time,
the Skaven are playing deep, with the sides relatively clean.
Boom!
There is the kick!
Mad Johan: The
Goat Herders need to play ball control after seeing how fast the
Cheez-ballerz scored.
Lord Summervale: Grafitti
gets the ball and starts heading to the far side of the field. The
Chaos cage quickly forms around him as they press to the line. The
Goat Herders start pushing the Skaven back.
Mad Johan: A
terrific block by Arson sends Swanky Swiss to the dug-out K.O.ed.
Winston Azhander also pummels his man....err....rat.
Lord Summervale: The
speedy Skaven blitzers close in on the Chaos cage. But, the leading
chaos warriors are ready for them.
Mad Johan: Woah!
Winston Azhander smashes through another rat at the line. He is a
one man scrimmage line. Gore stuns his foe, and Murder sends Mild
Chedda' to the K.O. Box too.
Lord Summervale: Not
to be outdone, the Munster of the Midway and Horrible Havarti team-up
to send Todd Organgrinder to the K.O. Box too. The cage is
collapsing.
However,
Grafitti steps up in the collapsing pocket and proves skaven are not
the only ones who can throw! He tosses it to Hack in the back field
who brings it down, tucks it and runs in for a touchdown!
Mad Johan: The
Goat Herders were able to get penetration all across the
Cheez-ballerz line and get runners behind the line of scrimmage.
That touchdown was due to line play as much as passing.
Lord Summervale: The
two teams line-up for the kick-off. This looks like it is going to
be a shoot out. The Skaven set-up to try and overwhelm the far side
of the Goat Herd line. Boom! The kick is up, and as it is up, the
Goat Herders quickly re-arrange to foil the Skaven's plan.
Mad Johan: Perfect
defense!
Lord Summervale: Maybe
not. The Cheez-Ballerz manage to get some penetration at the line.
King Chedda' collects the ball and begins to head up field. His
Gutter Runners make for the gaps with a lineman blocker leading the
way.
Mad Johan: That's
smart play to protect his offensive weapons.
Lord Summervale: The
Chaos team quickly responds and starts to seal off any gaps with
brutal efficiency. Winston Azhander manages to penetrate into the
back of the Cheez-Baller line and get in King Chedda's face.
Stinky
Limburger gets into the backfield, and King Chedda' tries to air it
out to him. It is a difficult throw, and Winston Azhander knocks it
down loose on the Skaven side of the line.
Mad Johan: Azhander
is a strong contender for MVP right now!
Lord Summervale: The
Goat Herder line play is taking a toll as Brisbane Skullthumper takes
Catastrophe Colby off the field and Winston Azhander does the same to
King Chedda'! The bestaman Payne picks up the ball and starts
heading for the endzone, but a pair of Cheez-ballerz manage to get
back to try and slow him down.
Mad Johan: Finally,
Murder manages to get his hands around the scrawny neck of Rotten
Rochefort and take him out of the game. You have to eliminate the
Gutter Runners as soon as possible.
Lord Summervale: The
rest of the Cheez-ballerz seem to realize that the effort is lost and
try to dodge away from the rampaging Chaos team. As the half winds
down to a close, Murder runs it into the end zone for a Chaos
Touchdown! That puts the Chaos Goat Herders up 2-1 at the half.
Mad Johan: 5
Cheez-Ballerz are out in the dug-out. You know what I say
Summervale. If more than a quarter of your team is in the dug-out,
you will have a hard time winning.
Lord Summervale: Indeed,
let's see if the Cheez-ballerz can turn it around in the second half.
Now, we will send you back to the Cabalvision IV studios for a
half-time report and a word from our sponsors.
** ** ** ** **
Lord Summervale: Welcome
back to live coverage of this qualifying match between the Chaos Goat
Herders and the Skaven Cheez-Ballerz for the Princess Owayanna
Healing Bottled Water Cup. The Goat Herders have the lead 2 -1
thanks to punishing play led by Winston Azhander and the Beastman
Murder.
Mad Johan: The
rate those two were going, they were planning on taking out the
entire Cheez-Baller line up!
Lord Summervale: Indeed!
It looks like Mild Chedda and another line rat have recovered enough
to return to the game. On the Goat Herder side Todd Organgrinder is
still out. The two teams line up for the kick-off as the Chaos team
gets ready to receive.
Mad Johan: Based
on how the two teams lined up, it looks like the Goat Herders plan on
pounding it right up the center of the Skaven team. The Chaos team
needs to maintain control of the ball through the second half as we
know those Skaven can score faster than food through a goose.
Lord Summervale: Boom!
The kick is up! Asquith Kneecapper puts Stinky Limburger right back
into the K.O. Dug-out right off the line.
Mad Johan: I
guess he wasn't quite ready to get back on the field yet.
Lord Summervale: Grafitti
grabs the ball and starts heading towards the line. Mild Chedda'
manages to sneak through the line of scrimmage. He and Catastrophe
Colby rush Grafitti and smash him to the ground and send the ball
loose deep in the Chaos backfield! However, it pops up and Arson the
Beastman comes up with it for now.
Murder
drops back and smashes Catastrophe Colby to the ground and sends him
to the K.O. Box!
Mad Johan: At
this rate, the Cheez-ballerz won't even have a team left by the end
of the game.
Lord Summervale: Arson
has plenty of room to run as there are very few Cheez-ballerz left to
stop him. Mild Chedda' is doing all the work as he dodges away from
Murder and chases down Arson, but he can't quite take him down.
Mad Johan: A
big collision on the far side of the field between the Munster of the
Midway and Payne, sends Payne off the field. A bit of payback for
the Cheez-Ballerz!
Lord Summervale: The
beastman Malice knocks Horrible Havarti away, leaving the path to the
end zone clear for Arson. Which he hoofs it in for the score!
Mad Johan: That
took up about half the time left on the clock. With what the
Cheez-ballerz have left on the field, I doubt they can pull off the
tie much less a win.
Lord Summervale: It
will be tough for sure. However, it looks like King Chedda', Feta
Fiend, and Stinky Limburger are back on the field. Payne is coming
back out for the kick-off too.
Mad Johan: The
Goat Herders are going with a double deep line across the board to
try and keep the Cheez-ballerz out of the back field.
Lord Summervale: The
Cheez-Ballerz are missing Rotten Rocheforte right now as they line
up.
Here's
the kick! Boom! The skaven get a jump on the play due to a quick
snap. Horrible Havarti snags the kick from the air and gets ready to
run.
Pepper
Jack and Feta Fiend spring the near side open and Horrible Havarti
dashes along the sideline. Here comes Violence the Beastman from the
safety position, he has zeroed in on Horrible Havarti. He easily
pushes the speedy Gutter Runner towards the crowd, but does not knock
him down!
Horrible
Havarti tries to dodge by Violence, but the beastman manages to trip
him up and the ball goes loose.
Mad Johan: It
looks like that is that for the Cheez-ballerz hopes in the
tournament.
Lord Summervale: Violence
fails to pick-up the ball. The Cheez-ballerz try to scramble and
push their way through the line of scrimmage to get the ball, but
will not make it. Horrible Havarti reaches for it, but Violence
keeps him back.
The
clock winds down to the end, and no one has possession of the ball as
the two teams jostle and push each other. It takes a few moments for
the teams to realize the game is over. The Skaven slink back to
their dug-out, while the Chaos fans begin to roar their frenzied
chants to their dark gods.
Mad Johan: The
Chaos fans got their gate admissions worth today! The Chaos Goat
herders advance to the Semi-final round to face the Dwarf
Rock-N-Rollers.
Lord Summervale: Our
sideline grots are reporting that Rotten Rochefort is badly hurt, but
the Clan Skyre and Clan Moulder physician team assures me that he
will be ready to play in their next game no matter what.
Mad Johan: Good
to hear I guess. Today's MVP for the Cheez-Ballerz is Stinky
Limburger. He was taken out by K.O. Twice, but still someone found a
way to get back into the game and help his depleted team. The game
ended with him still playing! That is the kind of tenacity a team
like the Cheez-Ballerz needs.
For
the Goat Herderz, it was a tougher call. For the first half, Winston
Azhander was a one warrior army! However, he was much quieter in the
second half of the game. Meanwhile, our MVP managed to score 1 Touch
Down and by my count 3 Casualties. The Chaos MVP is the beastman
Murder!
Lord Summervale: Well,
that wraps up today's qualifying match for the Princess Owayanna
Healing Bottled Water Cup between the Skaven Cheez-ballerz and the
Chaos Goat Herders. The Goat Herders move to the next round with a
3-1 victory over their opponents.
Thanks
to Guillotine Razors, the best a human can get; for their additional
support for this program. We now return you to the Cabalvision IV
studios. See you for the Semi-finals!
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