Monday, August 13, 2018

Blood Bowl: Match Report- Dwarf vs. Ork- Exhibition Play

Catastrophe! I had this report all written up as we played th4e game, but then I lost it do to being an idiot. Therefore, this match report will not be as detailed as some of the other Blood Bowl matches I have had. However, since it was the first use of my Dwarf team I figured I might as well try to put in some of the highlights.

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Lord Summervale: Welcome to the half-time report! Cabalvision IV's continuing coverage of the Deep North League continues as we take look at the Southern Regional Conference action. It is still pre-season as new teams enter the conference. Let's see how they stack up!

Mad Johan: After the loss of teams from last season due to contract disputes, attrition, murder, and jail sentences there has been an influx of new teams into the Southern Regional Conference.

Lord Summervale: Indeed. The three remaining teams are the Forever Jackals from Khemri, Skaven Da' Rat Packers, and fromt eh Chaos Wastes come the Gridiron Gravediggers. However, this season they are going to be joined by the expansion Nottingham Nobles human team, Ork Skulsmash Reeverz, Skaven Cheeze-Ballerz, Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers, and the Chaos Goat Herders.

Mad Johan: With so many inexperienced rookies, the casualties should be record setting this year!

Lord Summervale: The Skulsmash Reeverz under their Kaptin Grimgrod Rotgut clashed with the Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers earlier today. Here are the highlights of the match.

Mad Johan: With Dwarf teams the highlight reel is always short......

Lord Summervale: …. um, yeah.... moving on. The first half saw the Orks kick the Rock-N-Rollers into terrible field position. It took them half of the first half just to get to mid-field. Sadly, the Skulsmash Reeverz were there waiting for them. The Ork team smashed open the Dwarf cage and forced the ball loose.

It was a mad scrum, but eventually Kaptin Rotgut himself emerged with the ball. A short pass up the middle found the blitzer Ruk-Ruk. He hauled it in and that led to a score at the end of the first half. Things looked bad for the Rock-N-Rollers as they were down by 1 and kicking to the Orks.

Mad Johan: The Dwarf team made good use of sideline pushes to eliminate a few Ork players. The Slayers frenzy ability helped out.

Lord Summervale: In the second half, the Dwarf team had to act fast....

Mad Johan: …. which is really hard when you are a dwarf!

Lord Summervale: The opening kick was short, and a missed block up front left the Ork line open. A few dwarf blockers desperately trundle through and forced the ball loose from back-up Ork thrower Runthugga.

This also led to a scrum where possession went back and forth between the two teams. The Orks tried to throw it down field, but the Rock-N-Rollers were all over it and stuffed the receiver quickly.

Mad Johan: One of the great moments of Blood Bowl is watching dwarf blockers try to intercept a pass. Hilarious!

Lord Summervale: The Rock-N-Rollers managed to push the ball down the field as their line play began to tell on the Skulsmash Reeverz.

Mad Johan: This game featured some eye-popping hits between players that left players down across the board. I was shocked to see half of the Ork team knocked-out and in the dug-out at one point!

Lord Summervale: It was this punishment that allowed the Dwarf runner Harry Harrison finally cross into the end zone to tie up the game. The fans at Freeboota Field booed and hissed, but the refs let the score stand.

From there, the Orks did not have enough time to complete a scoring drive despite a successful pass down field. Time ran out.

Mad Johan: Since the refs were hungry, they decided to call the game a tie and go grab some grub. It was only pre-season. They were hangry so called the game despite the jeers of the crowd.

Lord Summervale: We will now return you to your regularly scheduled match after a word from our Sponsors; Guillotine Razors- Maybe the best a human can get! Thanks for tuning into Cabalvision IV. Nuffle be praised!

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