Monday, November 19, 2018

Blood Bowl: Princess Owayanna Tournament Report- Humans vs. Skaven


Lord Summervale: Welcome Ladies, Gentleman, and other assorted gribblies to Cabalvision IV's coverage of the semi-final match-up in the Princess Owayanna Bottled Healing Spring Waters Tournament. Today is a semi-final battle between the Human Nottingham Nobles and the Skaven Rat Packers.

The Nottingham Nobles are coming off a convincing win againstthe Khemri Forever Jackals led by their team captain, Rick Priestley. Meanwhile, Da' Rat Packers and their high-powered triple Gutter Runner offense defeatedthe Ork Skulsmash Reeverz in a close run match.

Today, I am joined by my colleague Mad Johan. Mad Johan, what do you think the keys are for today's match-up?

Mad Johan: Both of these teams have demonstrated their will to win and the ability to score touch downs. It is going to come down to who can put the most points on the board. For the Nobles, look for the key connection between Rick Priestley and Gav Thorpe. Meanwhile, on the Rat Packer side of the ball Favre Da Cheese-monger is going to be looking to Sneaky as his go-to receiver down the field. Both teams can score early and often.

Lord Summervale: Da' Rat Packers only Blitzer Bashy is out with a broken arm. How do you think this will impact the game?

Mad Johan: Da Rat Packers relied on Bashy to lead the effort to make a hole in the opposing sides line. With him out, it will be tougher for the Gutter-Runners to break out into the back field of the Nobles.

I went to talk with Jervis Johnson, or as I like to call him J.J.; about the Noble's strategy for the game. Here is what he had to say....

Jervis Johnson: We always had a bit of the physical edge against these guys, but so did the Skulsmash Reeverz, and they ended up losing. You can't just rely on your strength, you need to neutralize their threats early...

Mad Johan: … Of course, he is exactly right. The key will be if they can hit and take out those Gutter-Runners before they can become a nuisance. You know what I say, if half the enemy team is in the dug-out it will hard for them to score points. J.J. Also had this to say about his team captain....

Jervis Johnson: …. these Skaven teams can get into the back field and harass your thrower pretty quickly if you aren't careful. However, I have been teaching Rick a few things and I think they will find him a bit tougher to take down than they expect....

Mad Johan: …. my sources tell me that Priestley has been training hard with the Blitzers coach to get tougher.

Lord Summervale: So, it sounds like you think the Nobles might have the edge?

Mad Johan: Well, talking about taking out Gutter-runners is a lot easier than actually taking them out. I talked to Sneaky about their high-powered offense and he had these comments.....

Sneaky: <Squeak, squeak, Sqeeeeeeeak, Squeak.>

Lord Summervale: Wow. He sounds pretty confident to call out the Nobles defenders like that.

Mad Johan: Indeed, Favre and his team seem to think the difference will be in dodging past opposing lineman and blockers and then using speed to rocket into the back field. That has worked well for them in the past.... but this isn't the qualifiers anymore. There is a lot more at stake.

Lord Summervale: Indeed. The two captains have gone to the center of the beautiful Citadel arena for the coin toss. Favre and Da Rat Packers have won the toss and are electing to receive the kick-off first.

Mad Johan: They used this strategy last game against the Orks, and it paid off with an early score. That left the Orks on the back foot the rest of the match.

Lord Summervale: With that, both teams take their positions and get ready to play some Blood Bowl!

Rick Priestley is in the dug-out, while Andy chamber tries to pin the Skaven deep in the backfield with a solid kick. Favre goes over and retrieve it. The Rat Packers had stacked the line while the Nobles tried to defend in depth.

Mad Johan: A big hit by Pincher leads the way as the Rat Packers blast through the line of scrimmage and penetrate into the secondary.

Lord Summervale: Jervis Johnson moves up to fill the gap along with Andy Chambers.

Mad Johan: It's not enough as Nipper puts a punishing hit on J.J.!

Lord Summervale: Right, and Pak has done the same on the near side. Oh no, Sneaky and Squeaky, two Gutter Runners have gotten into the Nobles back field. However, a big mid-field collision sends Fodder off the field K.O.ed.


Mad Johan: Mat Ward the Blitzer sees his chance to off a Gutter-runner and takes it. It pummels him into the ground, but fails to take Squeaky out of the game.

Lord Summervale: Krunch! Another big mid-field collision sends Andy Chambers tot eh dug-out knocked-out.

Favre and Pak work together and send Paul Sawyer to the ground. This opens up a lane. Sneaky puts on some moves and dodges away from and around Mat Ward. Favre dumps him the ball, and the Gutter Runner turns up field and turns on the speed.

Mad Johan: Those were some amazing moves by Sneaky. Just like I said, Favre was looking to dump it to him for a scoring connection and they did.

Lord Summervale: Da Rat Packers Touchdown!

Despite being down by one, as Rick Priestley takes the field, the crowd here at Citadel Field are starting to chant.

Mad Johan: As a player, that is such a great feeling!

Lord Summervale: Boom! There is a short kick. Rick Priestley retrieves the ball just behind the line. The Nobles linemen go to work. A big hit up front by Adrian Wood lets Gav Thorpe into the flat.

Mad Johan: I am guessing that is where Priestley will look to throw.

Lord Summervale: Favre moves up and hits the lead blocker for Thorpe out of the way with Squeaky's help. The rest of the Gutter-runners move up to contain him.

Mad Johan: Another big collision on the far side of the field sends Nigle Stillman to the Dug-out! I expected a more finesse game than we have seen so far!

Lord Summervale: Indeed! Jervis Johnson puts a big hit on Favre the Cheesemonger and clears a path. Rick dumps a pass to his outlet receiver Alessio Cavatorre who takes the ball up the middle. It doesn't look like anyone can stop him!


Mad Johan: Not so fast, Squish-Squish is coming streaking from an uncovered position, but Cavatorre manages to stiff arm him away!


Lord Summervale: Alessio dodges away and goes in for the score! That means we are all tied up!

Mad Johan: Wow, I knew this was going to be a high scoring game, but this looks like it is going to be a shoot-out!

Lord Summervale: It looks like the Nobles plan on flooding the line of scrimmage to get penetration and come off the edges. The Skaven are still short handed as one of their lineman is still unconscious. They are going with a weak near side set-up.

Boom! Another strong kick by Chambers puts the ball in the near side corner by the end zone. That is going to be tough for the Skaven.

Mad Johan: Don't under-estimate their speed.

Lord Summervale: The Skaven try to push back the far side and are making progress, but a mis-step by Nipper sends him to the dug-out! Mat Ward comes up the weak near side and takes shot at Squeaky who manages to stumble away from the block.

Favre is drifting to the far side, as Sneaky tries to get around the near side edge, and Pokey gets set-up to try to break across the line of scrimmage. The Nobles are sensing blood and moving in for a sack.



Mad Johan: J.J. Snakes through the line and manages to come to grips with the Gutter Runner Pokey and send him to the turf!

Lord Summervale: Time is running short for the first half, but Favre has run across mid-field. Pokey was sprung by a strong block from Bucktooth on Jervis Johnson. They are both streaking down field. Favre tries to dump it to the Gutter-Runner, but he fumbles it!

Mad Johan: Rick sees his chance and zones in on Pokey and sends him to the dug-out with a K.O.! What a big hit by the Noble's team captain!

Lord Summervale: Mat Ward takes a shot at Squeaky again, but fails to connect in a meaningful way.
There is the half time buzzer! The score is tied 1-1. This is still anyone's game! Now, enjoy a few words from our sponsors as we send you back to the Cabalvision IV halftime report!

** ** ** ** **

Lord Summervale: Welcome back. Now you have all the updates from around the Olde World. This is the second half of the semi-final match-up in the Princess Owayanna Bottled Healing Spring Water tournament. The Nottingham Nobles are tied with the Skaven Rat Packers 1 to 1.

Mad Johan: Right now, Favre is probably questioning his coin toss choices now as they are kicking to the Nobles to start the second half. Let's see if the short handed Skaven defense can stop the rampaging Noble line.

Lord Summervale: Indeed! It looks like the Nobles are skipping the subtlety and just plan on using a Human wall to smash the smaller Skaven out of the way. Team Captain Rick Preistley is back to receive the kick-off, flanked by his two catchers.



The fans get a bit rowdy up in the stands. Skaven and Human fans are known to not like each other, but this is taking it to another level! It looks like the clock is running as the teams cheer their fans on for a change. Eventually Ogre security steps in and restores order.

Mad Johan: A few fans are going to regret their choices tomorrow!

Lord Summervale: Boom! The kick is up! Priestley goes and retrieves the ball on the near side. The Human line starts pushing their way past the Skaven. On the far side, Jervis Johnson blasts Nipper off the field and into the dug-out, opening up a lane.

Mad Johan: Space McQuirk follows J.J.'s lead and sends his rat to the dug-out too! The Rat Packers won't have much of a defense left!

Lord Summervale: The Nobles let Jervis Johnson lead their drive as he knocks Favre out of the way. He is followed by Gav Thorpe in the flat. Rick steps up in the pocket to throw, but he fumbles the ball instead.

Mad Johan: That was odd, but it looks like the Skaven are in no position to recover it.

Lord Summervale: Oh? Sneaky dodges around the line and manages to scoop it up! His fellow Gutter-runner Squeaky manages to follow and break out. Sneaky dumps the ball to him, and they try to stretch the Nobles back field.

Mad Johan: That is why you need to take those Gutter-runners out of the game early!

Lord Summervale: Squeaky did not run far enough as Rick Priestley manages to chase him down and knock him over. The ball pops loose again! Gav Thorpe drops back and scoops it up.

Mad Johan: A big collision at mid-field causes Paul Sawyer to leave the game unconscious.

Lord Summervale: Bucktooth dashes ahead and smashes Gav to the turf. The ball again is loose. This time, Sneaky dodges over to the ball and scoops it up. Sneaky breaks away from Rick and stumbles into the end zone. Sneaky tosses it to Squeaky for a touchdown.



Mad Johan: Favre better look out or Sneaky is going to be taking his job!

Lord Summervale: The Human fans fell silent after that Skaven touchdown. I don't think they expected that to happen!

Mad Johan: It all stemmed from a bumbled pass by Rick behind his own line of scrimmage. Tough break.

Lord Summervale: As both sides line up for the kick, the fans are starting to get unruly again. This time, it doesn't look like Ogre security can hold them back!

Mad Johan: A Pitch invasion! During a semi-final match like this! They should be ashamed.

Lord Summervale: The fans are surging across the field and Ogre security is having a terrible time trying to gather them up and herd them off. I have lost track of the players in the mess, and it is clear the Human and Skaven fans are fighting fiercely with each other.

Mad Johan: The inhumanity of it all!

Lord Summervale: As the Ogres forcibly eject fans, it is clear that many players were caught up in the melee. Almost all of the human players are down! However, some key Skaven players are down too!

Mad Johan: The refs just whistled play to begin, but most of the players are still down!

Lord Summervale: Boom! The kick is up. It is a short kick, and Rick scrambles to retrieve it. He is not going to get much help out there as the only Noble left standing is him and Adrian Wood!


The Skaven swarm Rick with warm bodies and toss him to the ground. The ball flies up and is pulled in by Pincher. Adrian hits him in the back, but the linerat manages to hand it off to Sneaky. He easily dodges past a flailing Priestley and runs it into the endzone for another Skaven score!

Mad Johan: I can't help but think some Skaven shenanigans were behind that pitch invasion! It allowed them to take a commanding lead late in the game!

Lord Summervale: Perhaps. The fans have been pretty rowdy all day. However, now Citadel arena is quiet. Maybe as the home team is down by two late in the day; or because the Ogre security force kicked out half the crowd. It is hard to tell.

Mad Johan: As this Noble team lines up, you can tell they are still a bit stunned at this turn of events.

Lord Summervale: Boom! The kick is up and it is very, very high. This should let Rick easily grab it.  Which he does, but it is deep in the Nobles' zone. The line starts to push forward.

Mad Johan: Warwick Kinrade still has some fire in him, as he sends a Skaven to the dug-out!

Lord Summervale: Rick Priestley dumps off a quick pass to Alessio who moves up behind the line.

The Nobles jab and push to the Skaven secondary, but it will be too little too late. There is not enough time and the clock brings the game to a close. The Nottingham Nobles have been eliminated from the tournament by Da Rat Packers in a score of 3 to 1.

Mad Johan: What a daft second half! According to our sideline Grot, there are no serious injuries from this match. However, it was surprisingly hard hitting.

Lord Summervale: Indeed. Despite the loss, who do you think the MVP was for the Nobles?

Mad Johan: It is a tough call, but I think Adrian Wood did a good job being where he needed to be and standing tall, J.J. of course, and then Rick. However, the late fumble on a blown pass makes me question if he should be the MVP. Despite the fumble, he kept his team in the game. I think Rick has to be the Noble's MVP!

Lord Summervale: Interesting choice? I am sure you will hear about it on the after match fan line! How about for the victorious Rat Packers?

Mad Johan: Bucktooth was a big presence and had some key blocks late in the game that allowed or made scoring drives possible. Sneaky of course has to be a candidate considering he had more completions than the thrower and was all over the field. Lastly, his buddy Squeaky turned a Nobles possession into a Skaven scoring drive that really stuck the boot in. However, the MVP for this game is going to be..... Squeaky.

Lord Summervale: Well, there you have it folks. The Skaven Rat Packers have defeated the Nottingham Nobles. The Rat Packers will move onto the finals to face the winner of the Rock-N-Rollers and Chaos Goat Herders game that will be played later this week.

Until then, this is Lord Summervale and Mad Johan signing off of Cabalvision IV from Nottingham's Citadel Arena! Bye-bye!

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