Blood Bowl: Match Report- Dark Elves vs. Elf Union

Lord Summervale: Welcome Blood Bowl fans! I am pleased to have you join us for Cabalvision IV's coverage of the Deep North- Southern Regional conference. I am your host Lord Summervale and as always I am joined in the booth by the great Blood Bowl mind and Hall of Fame player Mad Johan.

Mad Johan: In addition, we are joined in the booth today by the captain of the Chaos Goat Herders, Asquith Kneecapper.; fresh off their win in the Princess Owayanna Bottled Spring Healing Waters tournament win! Congratulations!

Asquith Kneecapper: Thank you, I would just like to say all praise to the Chaos Gods and Nuffle.

Lord Sumervale: Well said. Today's match we are glad to bring you a long-awaited premier between two new teams to the Conference, the Black Guards from Nagarroth and the Elf Union Superiors.

Mad Johan: Indeed, the two elf teams bring two different play styles to this conference. It is said that Mora-Thai and her team were exiled from the Blood Bowl pitches of Naggaroth for an undisclosed infraction. They were sailing to join the Princess Owayanna tournament but were detained at the coast by some..... um.... slave raiding?

Asquith Kneecapper: A noble past-time! Almost as fun as playing Blood Bowl!

Lord Summervale: I'll take your word for it.

Mad Johan: Meanwhile, this Elf Union team is captained by Legolan the Highborn. His team has been active in some of the minor leagues and decided to make the jump to this level of play. We will see how they handle it.

Asquith Kneecapper: Fresh meat! I think they will find the game plays much faster at this level.

Lord Summervale: Perhaps. We are about to find out. The two captains have come out of their dug-outs and approached the grot refs. The two shake hands, and seem to exchange some.... refined.... banter in elvish. It looks like the Black Guards have elected to receive the ball.

Mad Johan: A good strategy. They might be able to put some of those Elf Union players out of the game before they even get the ball. Asquith, what do you think the keys of the game are?

Asquith Kneecapper: Clearly Nuffle and the gods will favor the team that has sacrificed more virgins prior to the first snap. I believe the Dark Elves have the advantage.

Mad Johan: Ummmmmm..... sure. I'm sure that will matter. For Mora-Thai her team will want to stretch out their scoring drives. The best defense is to keep the Superiors from even having the ball at all. For the Black Guards, they need to use their possessions to also take out the key positionals on the Elf Union team.

Asquith Kneecapper: What you say makes sense.... but I am sure it will come down to the sacrifices.

Mad Johan: For the Superiors, they are going to have to stretch the field and force the Black Guard to cover deep and thin their defense in other areas. The Superiors have the ability to score early and often. They need to put the Black Guards into a deficit early and force them to play catch-up.

Asquith Kneecapper: I suppose they could also just smash the other team into little chunks of meat. It makes it easier to score AND prepares them for the victory feast!

Lord Summervale: Clearly, you are both brilliant Blood Bowl minds. The Dark Elves have their runners Raz-Al-Slam and Urleith Van Drakken back to receive.

Boom! The kick is up!

Raz-Al-Slam easily picks up the ball deep in the backfield in the nearside field.

Mad Johan: Kurounus the Dreaded, the Dark Elf blitzer races up the edge of the farside wing and unloads a davastating blitz on TheonaStarstrike and send shim the dug-out. Ouch!

Lord Summervale: The Black Guards begin to form a cage and head to the line, with Mora-Thai the Witch Elf leading the way. Jaq the Knife knocks out the Elf Union blitzer, Gloire as the Dark Elves approach.

Mad Johan: It's not all going the Black Guards' way as Fiendahl Stormwind, the Blitzer stiff arms the Dark Elf lineman Morathian and takes him out. Brutal for elves.

Lord Summervale: The Black Guard move to break through the Superiors line. Darveck the Flayer blitzes an opening by taking out the Elf Union blocker, Snowrabbit. Mora-thai moves to expnad the gap, but is taken out by a rejuvenated Gloire the Seeker. He sends the Witch Elf to the dug-out!

Asquith Kneecapper: That was unexpected!

Mad Johan: The Superiors decide to try to capitalize on and start dishing out punichment across the line! 1 Black Guard is Koed, while Legolan the High-born himself stuns another Dark Elf blocker.

Asquith Kneecapper: I like these Elves style.

Lord Summervale: The path to the runner is open, and the Superior Blitzer takes his shot. He turns the end of the line and manages to Blitz Raz-Al-Slam. The Dark Elf is flattened to the turf, and coughs up the ball. The nearby Superior Blocker..... Chalaon Stormbreaker manages to scoop it up.

Mad Johan: The scrum is not over yet!

Lord Summervale: Indeed! Both teams push and shove each other around. Chalaon tries to break out, but is tripped up and sent sprawling by Al-Slam. The ball keeps being kicked around the field as the two teams scuffle over it.

Somehow, Chalaon finds the ball in his hands again, and he dumps it downfield to a fellow blocker, Arleith Starleif.

Asquith Kneecapper: Is this some of that “Finesse” game I hear fans of elf teams talk about?

Mad Johan: The Superior's drive is short lived as Black Ivenoth of the Black Guards knocks the ball loose again, putting Starleaf to the dug-out in the process. However, Black Ivenoth's run of luck ends quickly, as the Superior Lineman Calaughn Riverbend puts him in the dug-out with a punishing hit!

Asquith Kneecapper: This is a very hard hitting game!

Lord Summervale: Indeed! The referee blows the whistle for the half. Each team only has about 5 players left on the pitch!

Asquith Kneecapper: No love lost between these teams!

Mad Johan: You know what I say Summervale, it is hard to win a Blood Bowl match if half your team is in the box. However, it looks like I might be wrong this time. If you look closely at the casualty report, you will see that the Black Guard mostly have Knock Outs, while the Superiors have injuries. That means we could see the Black Guard have a slight numbers advantage in the second half.

Lord Summervale: That's why you are here Johan. Indeed, a great detail from a great Blood Bowl mind. Now, let's send the viewers back to Cabalvision IV's home tower for a breakdown of Blood Bowl action around the Olde World. Remember, Guillotine Razor; everytime you use them it is a close shave!

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Lord Summervale: Welcome back to the second half of our match-up between the Dark Elf Black Guards, and the Elf Union Superiors. The score is 0-0 in a surprisingly hard hitting game. I am joined int eh booth today by my regular color commentator Mad Johan. However, we also have Chaos Goat Herder Captain, Asquith Kneecapper.

Asquith, what do you think will be the key strategy for the second half?

Asquith: Well, both teams have been doing a good job smashing the other team. Eventually, one of these teams will have to score a touchdown. I think it might be the team with a player left standing.

Mad Johan: Elf teams get a lot of schtick for being all pouncy and finesse. Today, these teams are not living up to those expectations. I did not expect them to get into my Ard Hitz Highlight reel. So far, they have been brutal to each other.

However, Asquith is right. Eventually, someone is going to have to stop killing the other team and just score. I think the Black Guards have a bit of an edge in players returning to the game. I expect to see this difference matter.

Lord Summervale: Well, the Superiors get start with the ball this half. Let's see if they can do better than the Black Guards did. The Black Guards kick is up..... Boom! That gets the second half started.

Legolan the High-Born gets the ball after the touchback. He scrambles forward to the Elf Union line.

Mad Johan: The blitzer Kurounus the Dreaded is in hot pursuir. He easily penetrates the Superior back field and levels Chalaon Cloudbreak who was foolish enough to get in that guys way! Krunch!

Lord Summervale: Due to the pressure, Legolan passes it back to his fellow passer Chronus the Masked.

Mad Johan: That doesn't fool Korounus, who sniffs out the play and homes in on Chronus. The blitzer stretches the field and unloads on the Elf Union Thrower. He sends Chronus to the casualty box, and the ball goes loose deep in Elf Union territory.

Lord Summervale: Raz-Al-Slam manages to scoop up the ball and run it in for an easy touchdwon! The Black Guards are up by 1.

Asquith Kneecapper: That Black Guard Blitzer stepped up and made the key play. Slaanesh msut be with him!

Mad Johan: As I predicted, the Black Guards small numbers advantage left Korounus unblocked on the outside and Raz-Al-Slam in a position to scoop up the ball and score.

Lord Summervale: More Black Guard players return to the field as they kick it to the Superiors. The Elf Union team valiantly tries to move it up field, but the Dark Elves seem to be wherever they try to go.

Mad Johan: Another big hit from Darveck the Flayer sends Theona Starstrike stunned to the ground. The numbers do not add up for the Superiors this time.

Lord Summervale: Despite a valiant attempt to drive up field, the Black Guards hold out until the whistle. The Black Guards have bested the Elf Union Superiors 1 to 0.

That was a surprisingly hard hitting game!

Mad Johan: Yes, but I think the Black Guards managed to take the game because they hit just that much harder than the Superiors. Just look at the casualty results to verify. Sure Mora-Thai the Black Guard team captain is leaving the game with a niggling injury, but the Superiors took it much harder. 4 players ended up in the casualty dug-out. Thankfully for the Superiors, two will be ready to play next game, but Elra Snowrabbit will have to miss the next match. Worse, blocker Galathia Sunstreak will never play at the same level again.

Asquith Kneecapper: I sense an upcoming sacrifice to Nuffle.

Lord Summervale: I don't think that is how the Superiors “retire” players?

Mad Johan: With such a new team to the conference, they just have to make do.

Lord Summervale: Well, that is interesting and all, but who do you think were the Bloodweiser Stars of the game? Asquith, I will let you decide today.

Asquith Kneecapper: Oh... let me consult my game notes..... for the Black Guards, you have to consider Korounus the Dreaded who lived up to his name with 4 casualties! That is the type of player I want on my team! However, Raz-Al-Slam actually scored the winning touch down, and ultimately that is what counts. Darveck the Flayer also had a strong game. Ultimately, I think it will have to go to Raz-Al-Slam though.

Mad Johan: A solid choice.

Asquith Kneecapper: It is always tougher to pick a star on the losing team. Ultimately, they lost and have no favor with the Chaos Gods. Who cares about such lowlings?

Mad Johan: Agreed, but we have to pick. For the Superiors, I think Fiendahl Stromwind the Blitzer was doing what they needed him to do, hitting people. Chalaon Stormbreaker needs a shout out for being in the middle of key plays and trying to keep the Superior drive alive int eh first half. Then, Legolan the team captain didn't disappoint and tried to keep his team in the game. Ultimately, I am going with Chalaon Stormbreak for the Superiors.

Lord Summervale: Well, that wraps things up here. Thanks to Asquith Kneecapper from the Chaos Goatherders for joining us in the booth. We will now return you back to the Cabalvision IV studio for continuing coverage of a match all ready in progress. Join us next time for more exciting Blood Bowl in the Deep North League- Southern Regional Conference. Until then, try Guillotine Razors- a nick in time saves nine!

Ta-ta!

Blood Bowl: Princess Owayanna Tournament Report- Skaven vs Chaos

Lord Summervale: Welcome, ladies, gentleman, and gribblies from across the Olde World to today's Cabalvision IV coverage of the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water Tournament qualifying round. We are deep in the Chaos Wastes as the Chaos Goat Herders take on the Skaven Cheez-Ballerz to advance to the semi-final round of the tournament.

Mad Johan: Both of these teams are new to the Deep North League- Southern Regional Conference. However, in Pre-season play the Goat Herders seemed like you standard Chaos psychopaths who preferred to smash face first and then let the scoring work itself out.

Lord Summervale: They played a pretty tough, bashy team in the Forever Jackals, but seemed to handle the undead players from Khemri with ease.

Mad Johan: Today's opponent is a very different style of play. As a skaven team they are fast and sneaky. However, they aren't afraid to play a little rough with a pair of Stormvermin blitzers. We have seen the Cheez-Ballerz not shy away from running it up the gut, and be successful at it.

Lord Summervale: The Cheez-baller captain King Chedda' has taken to the field to a chorus of boos and encouraging squeaks. Meanwhile, from the other dug-out comes the Goat Herders' captain Asquith Kneecapper.

The two teams exchange the customary pre-game handshake, but King Chedda' looks a little worse for wear after a vigorous shaking by Asquith. The ref flips the coin, and the Skaven win the toss. King Chedda' elects to receive the kick-off to try to put some points on the board.

Mad Johan: We saw a similar tactic from the other Skaven team in the tournament, Da' RatPackers. The strategy worked for them as they scored early and advanced to the semi-finals in a nail biter over the Ork Skulsmash reeverz.

Lord Summervale: The two teams line up for the kick. The Cheez-Ballerz have both Gutter Runnerz on the field and their back-up thrower Mild Chedda' is in the dug-out. The Goat Herders have a beastman runner, Payne ready in reserves.

Mad Johan: Unsurprisingly, the Cheez-Ballerz have the minimum number of players on the line. Both of their Blitzers are on the near side of the field. Meanwhile, the Goat Herders have stacked the line leaving only Todd Organgrinder and Gore back as safeties.

Lord Summervale: The kick is up..... Boom! King Chedda' scampers over and picks-up the ball. The line rats let out a squeal and put their backs into. They manage to push the line of scrimmage back, while the Blitzers bust a hole on the flanks. The Gutter Runners dash through the gap and make for the back field.

Mad Johan: You do not want those Gutter Runners loose in your back field. Now's the time to try and take them out!

Lord Summervale: Indeed, Gore comes up from his safety position and blitzes the lead Gutter Runner, but can not make solid contact with the slippery rat. Meanwhile, Winston Azhander lumbers through the line of scrimmage and towards King Chedda'

Mad Johan: He will never get there in time to stop the pass.

Lord Summervale: Meanwhile, the far side defenders have dropped back from the line to act as a deep defense.

Mad Johan: That really opens the field up for this little blighters.

Lord Summervale: King Chedda' steps up into the pocket created by his blitzers and dumps a quick pass to Rotten Rochefort who turns up field and turns on the speed.

Mad Johan: No one can catch him....

Lord Summervale: …. and just like that the Skaven have scored their first touch down. Wow, that was fast.

Both teams head back to the line and set-up for the kick. This time, the Goat Herders are going to get the ball. They look like they are ready to form a quick cage around the runner Grafitti. This time, the Skaven are playing deep, with the sides relatively clean.

Boom! There is the kick!

Mad Johan: The Goat Herders need to play ball control after seeing how fast the Cheez-ballerz scored.

Lord Summervale: Grafitti gets the ball and starts heading to the far side of the field. The Chaos cage quickly forms around him as they press to the line. The Goat Herders start pushing the Skaven back.

Mad Johan: A terrific block by Arson sends Swanky Swiss to the dug-out K.O.ed. Winston Azhander also pummels his man....err....rat.

Lord Summervale: The speedy Skaven blitzers close in on the Chaos cage. But, the leading chaos warriors are ready for them.

Mad Johan: Woah! Winston Azhander smashes through another rat at the line. He is a one man scrimmage line. Gore stuns his foe, and Murder sends Mild Chedda' to the K.O. Box too.

Lord Summervale: Not to be outdone, the Munster of the Midway and Horrible Havarti team-up to send Todd Organgrinder to the K.O. Box too. The cage is collapsing.

However, Grafitti steps up in the collapsing pocket and proves skaven are not the only ones who can throw! He tosses it to Hack in the back field who brings it down, tucks it and runs in for a touchdown!

Mad Johan: The Goat Herders were able to get penetration all across the Cheez-ballerz line and get runners behind the line of scrimmage. That touchdown was due to line play as much as passing.

Lord Summervale: The two teams line-up for the kick-off. This looks like it is going to be a shoot out. The Skaven set-up to try and overwhelm the far side of the Goat Herd line. Boom! The kick is up, and as it is up, the Goat Herders quickly re-arrange to foil the Skaven's plan.

Mad Johan: Perfect defense!

Lord Summervale: Maybe not. The Cheez-Ballerz manage to get some penetration at the line. King Chedda' collects the ball and begins to head up field. His Gutter Runners make for the gaps with a lineman blocker leading the way.

Mad Johan: That's smart play to protect his offensive weapons.

Lord Summervale: The Chaos team quickly responds and starts to seal off any gaps with brutal efficiency. Winston Azhander manages to penetrate into the back of the Cheez-Baller line and get in King Chedda's face.

Stinky Limburger gets into the backfield, and King Chedda' tries to air it out to him. It is a difficult throw, and Winston Azhander knocks it down loose on the Skaven side of the line.

Mad Johan: Azhander is a strong contender for MVP right now!

Lord Summervale: The Goat Herder line play is taking a toll as Brisbane Skullthumper takes Catastrophe Colby off the field and Winston Azhander does the same to King Chedda'! The bestaman Payne picks up the ball and starts heading for the endzone, but a pair of Cheez-ballerz manage to get back to try and slow him down.

Mad Johan: Finally, Murder manages to get his hands around the scrawny neck of Rotten Rochefort and take him out of the game. You have to eliminate the Gutter Runners as soon as possible.

Lord Summervale: The rest of the Cheez-ballerz seem to realize that the effort is lost and try to dodge away from the rampaging Chaos team. As the half winds down to a close, Murder runs it into the end zone for a Chaos Touchdown! That puts the Chaos Goat Herders up 2-1 at the half.

Mad Johan: 5 Cheez-Ballerz are out in the dug-out. You know what I say Summervale. If more than a quarter of your team is in the dug-out, you will have a hard time winning.

Lord Summervale: Indeed, let's see if the Cheez-ballerz can turn it around in the second half. Now, we will send you back to the Cabalvision IV studios for a half-time report and a word from our sponsors.

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Lord Summervale: Welcome back to live coverage of this qualifying match between the Chaos Goat Herders and the Skaven Cheez-Ballerz for the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water Cup. The Goat Herders have the lead 2 -1 thanks to punishing play led by Winston Azhander and the Beastman Murder.

Mad Johan: The rate those two were going, they were planning on taking out the entire Cheez-Baller line up!

Lord Summervale: Indeed! It looks like Mild Chedda and another line rat have recovered enough to return to the game. On the Goat Herder side Todd Organgrinder is still out. The two teams line up for the kick-off as the Chaos team gets ready to receive.

Mad Johan: Based on how the two teams lined up, it looks like the Goat Herders plan on pounding it right up the center of the Skaven team. The Chaos team needs to maintain control of the ball through the second half as we know those Skaven can score faster than food through a goose.

Lord Summervale: Boom! The kick is up! Asquith Kneecapper puts Stinky Limburger right back into the K.O. Dug-out right off the line.

Mad Johan: I guess he wasn't quite ready to get back on the field yet.

Lord Summervale: Grafitti grabs the ball and starts heading towards the line. Mild Chedda' manages to sneak through the line of scrimmage. He and Catastrophe Colby rush Grafitti and smash him to the ground and send the ball loose deep in the Chaos backfield! However, it pops up and Arson the Beastman comes up with it for now.

Murder drops back and smashes Catastrophe Colby to the ground and sends him to the K.O. Box!

Mad Johan: At this rate, the Cheez-ballerz won't even have a team left by the end of the game.

Lord Summervale: Arson has plenty of room to run as there are very few Cheez-ballerz left to stop him. Mild Chedda' is doing all the work as he dodges away from Murder and chases down Arson, but he can't quite take him down.

Mad Johan: A big collision on the far side of the field between the Munster of the Midway and Payne, sends Payne off the field. A bit of payback for the Cheez-Ballerz!

Lord Summervale: The beastman Malice knocks Horrible Havarti away, leaving the path to the end zone clear for Arson. Which he hoofs it in for the score!

Mad Johan: That took up about half the time left on the clock. With what the Cheez-ballerz have left on the field, I doubt they can pull off the tie much less a win.

Lord Summervale: It will be tough for sure. However, it looks like King Chedda', Feta Fiend, and Stinky Limburger are back on the field. Payne is coming back out for the kick-off too.

Mad Johan: The Goat Herders are going with a double deep line across the board to try and keep the Cheez-ballerz out of the back field.

Lord Summervale: The Cheez-Ballerz are missing Rotten Rocheforte right now as they line up.

Here's the kick! Boom! The skaven get a jump on the play due to a quick snap. Horrible Havarti snags the kick from the air and gets ready to run.

Pepper Jack and Feta Fiend spring the near side open and Horrible Havarti dashes along the sideline. Here comes Violence the Beastman from the safety position, he has zeroed in on Horrible Havarti. He easily pushes the speedy Gutter Runner towards the crowd, but does not knock him down!

Horrible Havarti tries to dodge by Violence, but the beastman manages to trip him up and the ball goes loose.

Mad Johan: It looks like that is that for the Cheez-ballerz hopes in the tournament.

Lord Summervale: Violence fails to pick-up the ball. The Cheez-ballerz try to scramble and push their way through the line of scrimmage to get the ball, but will not make it. Horrible Havarti reaches for it, but Violence keeps him back.

The clock winds down to the end, and no one has possession of the ball as the two teams jostle and push each other. It takes a few moments for the teams to realize the game is over. The Skaven slink back to their dug-out, while the Chaos fans begin to roar their frenzied chants to their dark gods.

Mad Johan: The Chaos fans got their gate admissions worth today! The Chaos Goat herders advance to the Semi-final round to face the Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers.

Lord Summervale: Our sideline grots are reporting that Rotten Rochefort is badly hurt, but the Clan Skyre and Clan Moulder physician team assures me that he will be ready to play in their next game no matter what.

Mad Johan: Good to hear I guess. Today's MVP for the Cheez-Ballerz is Stinky Limburger. He was taken out by K.O. Twice, but still someone found a way to get back into the game and help his depleted team. The game ended with him still playing! That is the kind of tenacity a team like the Cheez-Ballerz needs.

For the Goat Herderz, it was a tougher call. For the first half, Winston Azhander was a one warrior army! However, he was much quieter in the second half of the game. Meanwhile, our MVP managed to score 1 Touch Down and by my count 3 Casualties. The Chaos MVP is the beastman Murder!

Lord Summervale: Well, that wraps up today's qualifying match for the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water Cup between the Skaven Cheez-ballerz and the Chaos Goat Herders. The Goat Herders move to the next round with a 3-1 victory over their opponents.

Thanks to Guillotine Razors, the best a human can get; for their additional support for this program. We now return you to the Cabalvision IV studios. See you for the Semi-finals!

Blood Bowl: Princess Owayanna Tournament Report- Dwarfs vs. Chaos

Lord Summervale: Warm wishes from the Chaos Wastes as Mad Johan and myself bring you coverage of the Princess Owayanna Bottled Healing Water Tournament for Cabalvision IV. You will be watching coverage of the tournaments first round play between the Gridiron Gravediggers fromt the Chaos Wastes and the Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers.

Mad Johan: The Gridiron Gravediggers are the oldest deep of the Deep North League- Southern Regional Conference, but they have gone through a lot of changes over the years.

Lord Summervale: This year, they are entering the season in a rebuilding year as they have lost their crowd favorite Minotaur in the off-season.

Mad Johan: I saw his picture when I was eating breakfast this morning... on the side of my milk carton. Hopefully, he will turn up safe and sound.

Lord Summervale: Indeed. This Dwarf team has taken on some hard-hitting teams in the past and I don't expect them to back down from the challenge today. Team captain and runner Harry Harryson had this to say....

Harry Harryson: Ack... I have heard all my life that this Chaos Warriors think they are some 'ard blokes. Let's see how they fare against some rock 'ard competition.

Mad Johan: He sounds confident, but in the pre-season they only managed to tie the Skulsmash Reeverz. Not exactly a rock solid record.

Lord Summervale: Despite the tie, they did go yard-for-yard and hit-for-hit against a hard hitting opponent.

Mad Johan: I guess. This conference is pretty bashy with an Ork, two Chaos, and a Khemri team. I guess we will see if they measure up to the competition.

Lord Summervale: Lord Graf the Unpleasant of the Gravediggers and Harry Harryson of the Rock-N-Rollers have come out for the coin toss. They start the pre-game handshake, but it soon diverges into an arm-wrestling competition before refs can separate them to get down to business.

The coin is up, and the Dwarfs win the toss. Lord Graf makes some crack about Dwarf-tossing and a brawl almost breaks out immediately. The refs manage to hold everything together long enough for the Dwarfs to decide to take the ball first.

With that, the kick is up. Boom!

Mad Johan: You would think that a bunch of beastmen could get a better kicker?

Lord Summervale: The kick is...erm....short?

Mad Johan: Now you're getting in on it too!

Lord Summervale: A missed block up front by Crazy Ivan opens a gap and lets Goat Boy Lif and Ug Da' Natural to dive deep into the backfield of the Rock-N-Rollers early. However, Ferro Ironbreaker picks up the oncoming rush with a punishing hit on Goatboy. This allows Harry Harryson to make for a small gap in the Chaos line.

Mad Johan: Another big collision! This time between Krong and Mad Oleg, makes that gap even possible.

Lord Summervale: There is some jostling up front, and Grrrra manages to come around the wing and blitz Harry Harryson from the back. Both go down, and the ball flies loose.

Mad Johan: Dwarf Blitzer Roz Shaft does his patented move, “Da Shaft” and sends Krong the Fister to the dug-outs for the rest of the game! Ouch!

Lord Summervale: Dwarf Blocker Brock Rocksolid manages to haul in the ball from a bounce, K.O.ing the Beastman Lothar in the process! The Rock-N-Rollers go to work and bash the line of scrimmage wide open!

Mad Johan: Oh, well it looks like Evig managed to dodge around Ferro Ironbreaker, and blitz Brock Rocksolid in the back!

Lord Summervale: Another mad scrum for the ball has broken out.

Mad Johan: Another crushing hit between Mad Oleg and Killa da Kind sends the beastman to the dug out. Then, on the other side of the pitch, Crazy Ivan sends Goatboy Lif to the dug-out! The Rock-N-Rollers are thinning out this Chaos team pretty fast!

Lord Summervale: The ball exchanges hands pretty fast and dirty as it bounces around. However, Kronk the Beastman rolls out holding the ball. He tries to toss it down field to Grrra, but the beastman receiver drops the ball.

Mad Johan: That gives the Chaos defense a bit of breathing room considering they are down 4 players right now.

Lord Summervale: Harry Harryson drops back and gets the ball, but Kronk blitz him and the ball is loose again.

Mad Johan: The cold weather here in the Chaos Wastes seems to be making this ball hard to hold on to!

Lord Summervale: As the clock ticks down, both teams just start to ignore the ball and instead just start pushing each other around. As the half ends, the ball is just sitting there on the line of scrimmage with no one paying any attention to it.

Mad Johan: The Gridiron Gravediggers probably want some payback after losing 4 guys to the box! But, if you want to win the game and advance in the Tournament, you have to score some points.

Lord Summervale: Indeed! Well, as we go into the half we will return you to the Cabalvision IV studios for a look at games around the Olde World and a word or three from our sponsors. The score here in the Chaos Wastes is still 0-0.

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Lord Summervale: Welcome back to today's Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water tournament game between the Gridiron Gravediggers from the Chaos Wastes and the Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers. We are still all tied up at 0-0, but the Gravediggers are going to receive this half.

Mad Johan: Well, what is left of them anyway. 3 Beastman and 1 Warrior are still in the dug-out. However, their back-up Beastman Ench Varner has taken the field. They need all the help they can get!

Lord Summervale: The kick is up..... and the Dwarf team goes to work right away! The ball lands close to the sidelines, but the closest player is a rushing Dwarf Blocker! The Gravediggers will have to move fast!

The Beastman Evig scoots over and collects the ball while Grrra takes out the oncoming Dwarf blocker.

Mad Johan: It looks like the Chaos Warriors, Lord Graf and Uckleif are making a gap in the center of the Dwarf line.

Lord Summervale: Despite the Rock-N-Rollers moving up to fill it, the Gridiron Gravediggers bash it open and Evig manages to race through. It is up to Harry Harryson to stop the Chaos drive in a 1-on-1 situation!

Mad Johan: You call that a hit! It was more like a love tap from Harry!

Lord Summervale: Perhaps, but it gives the rest of the Rock-N-Rollers time to get back and contain the threat. This time, Harry finished his man.... errr.... Beastman.... as he lays out Evig and forces him to cough up the ball.

Ferro Ironbreaker if there to scoop up the ball and head towards the end zone. It doesn't look like the Gravediggers have anything left to stop them with.

Mad Johan: Mad Oleg just put Kronk in the crowd and cleared the way for Ironbreaker to run it in!

Lord Summervale: Indeed! And that is what happens. Ferro Ironbreaker runs it into the end zone huffing and puffing. However, that puts his team in the lead!

Mad Johan: Thankfully, Killa Da' Kind comes out of the K.O.ed box for the Gravediggers. However, this team is in a tight spot. They are down by one, and are not exactly known for their quick strike ability!

Lord Summervale: The two teams line up for the kick-off. Boom! It is up and Ench Varner is back to receive it.

Mad Johan: What! Someone from the stands just hit Ench Varner with a rock! Down he goes!

Lord Summervale: That was unexepcted! The Chaos Warriors on the line try to punch through, and make a gap. However, a missed block by Evig allows a Dwarf blocker through to Ug Da' Natural who has the ball. However, he stiff arms the blocker away and stays upright.

Mad Johan: The Rock-N-Rollers were ready for this play and quickly sealed the hole back up.

Lord Summervale: This time, two Dwarfs get to Ug, and he goes down and the ball comes loose.

Mad Johan: Beastman #10.... Lothar.... shows a bit of life and smashes Rocksmelter into the turf. The meat wagon will have to collect him after that hit!

Lord Summervale: Ench Varner recovers enough and tries to get the ball again, but fumbles it.

With that, time runs down as the two teams push and shove at each other. The Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers have beaten the Gridiron Gravediggers 1-0. The Gravediggers have been eliminated from the tournament.

Mad Johan: Thankfully, we are all ready in the Chaos Wastes and they won't have far to go!

Lord Summervale: The Rock-N-Rollers have now joined the Nottingham Nobles and the Da' Rat Packers in the semi-final round. However, their opponent will be the winner of the Chaos Goat Herders vs. the Skaven Cheez-Ballerz which is still to be played.

Mad Johan: Neither team played particularly well with a lot of fumbling and blown assignments. However, the Rock-N-Rollers made fewer mistakes and frankly I was surprised at how rusty the Gridiron Gravediggers looked.

Lord Summervale: True, but who do you think the respective MVPs were for this match?

Mad Johan: Well, Ferro Ironbreaker needs to be considered for recovering the ball and running downfield to score, but ultimately it was Mad Oleg who allowed him to break loose with a great down field block that sent a Chaos defender into the crowd. Mad Oleg is my Rock-N-Roller MVP this match.

The Gravedigger MVP is a bit harder. I'm going Lothar as he was the only Chaos player that seemed to show any inclination to do what Chaos players do best. Hurt people.

Lord Summervale: The injury report is coming in now from our sideline Grots. That hit from Lothar injured Strom Rocksmelter's back, that will probably effect him the rest of his career. Krong the Fister and Ug Da' Natural will be back next game as he was only badly hurt. Meanwhile, it sounds like the mortician has been summoned for Killa Da' Kind.

Mad Johan: Ouch! Well, at least they will eat well tonight.

Lord Summervale: That wraps up tonight's coverage of the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water Tournament. The Dwarf Rock-N-Rollers defeated the Gridiron Gravediggers 1-0. Today's match was sponsored by Princess Owayanna's Healing Bottled Water, it quenches your thirst and heals what ails ya'! This is Lord Summervale and Mad Johan signing off. Thanks for watching Cabalvision IV.

Blood Bowl: Princess Owayanna Tourney Report - Humans vs. Khemri

Lord Summervale: Welcome to the opening match of the Princess Owayanna Bottled Healing Waters Tournament. Today, we are going to The Citadel, home of the Nottingham Nobles. They will be taking on the Forever Jackals of Khemri.

Mad Johan: We have seen hard hits from both of these teams, but the Nobles have proven to be a bit fragile in pre-season.

Lord Summervale: That's true Johan. Under their captain Rick Priestley they were decimated by the Skulsmash Reeverz but got their feet under them playing the Cheez-Ballerz.

Mad Johan: Meanwhile, in pre-season the Forever Jackals lost a close first game after some embarrassing ball handling... or lack there of.

Lord Summervale: ….but they brought the pain against a heavily armored Chaos Goat Herderz team. The hits were big and if they keep it up, will be on the highlight reels for a long time to come.

Mad Johan: It is all going to come down to who can keep their players in the game and scoring more touch downs.

Lord Summervale: With that bit of wisdom, let's get kicked-off. The Nobles are going to kick it to the Jackals to get the game started. ….. Boom! There is the kick!

Anoobis drops back and picks up the ball. The skeletons of the line move up and start to create a cage for Anoobis while the Tomb Guardians start to push the humans back.

Mad Johan: Here comes the Nobles Blitzer Jervis Johnson.... POW! He has flattened Anoobis and forced the ball loose!

Lord Summervale: I think Anoobis' head just popped off. He is stumbling towards the sidelines for help.

Mad Johan: Look at the violence inherent in the system! This scrum for the ball is getting vicious. Skeletons and Humans are being tossed around like straw men. Players are crawling off the field or laying stunned on the field.

Lord Summervale: Finally, Andy Chambers manages to pull the ball from the scrum and breaks across mid-field. He finds Gav Thorpe nearby and dumps it off to him. He begins to streak down the field with one eye on the clock for the end of the first half.

Mad Johan: The Jackals are all out of position.

Lord Summervale: Gav Thorpe ends the first half of the game by walking into the endzone for a Nobles touch down.

Mad Johan: With the Forever Jackals kicking it to the Nobles in the second half, the Khemri team is in a tough spot.

Lord Summervale: Indeed Johan. The Nobles lead the Forever Jackals by 1, Let's go back to the Cabalvision IV studios for a breakdown of more Blood Bowl action across the Old World. Our sponsors Guillotine Razors remind you that nothing shaves closer than a Guillotine.

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Lord Summervale: Welcome back to our main event game from the Princess Owayanna Healing Bottled Water Tournament. The Nottingham Nobles lead the Forever Jackals by 1 touch down. The Jackals will be kicking off to the Nobles to start the second half.

Mad Johan: The first half was a bruising battle of bashing. The Forever Jackals lost many of their key players to the dug-out, but the Nobles took a beating too.

Lord Summervale: I expect the second half to be just as rough. The Jackals kick it up, and Rick Priestly recovers the ball. The Humans take their time and set up a cage.

Mad Johan: They are putting on a clinic of ball control and execution. The Forever Jackals are desperate to knock the ball lose, but the Nobles are not going to let that happen.

Lord Summervale: Indeed. They have managed to steam roll their way through the flank of the Forever Jackals.

Mad Johan: I think the Noble's blitzer Mat Ward just obliterated Mum-skull. The skeleton literally came apart on the field from that hit!

Lord Summervale: The Khemri Tomb Guardians have managed to maintain control of the line, but the Nobles bypassed them on the flank and are grinding their way to the end zone.

Mad Johan: Even Ra-Men the Unspoiled can't slow down the train as he is gang tackled and brought low by a horde of Nobles players!

Lord Summervale: Again, as the second half comes to a close the Nobles Andy Chambers carries the ball across the end zone for another score, and sealing the Human teams victory in the tournament!

Mad Johan: As the game comes to a close, I am getting an sideline injury report. It looks like I was right, Mum-skull was completely knocked to pieces and all of the Pharoah's men can not put him back together again! In addition, Ra-Men the Unspoiled had his arm broken and will not be available for the next game. However, it didn't go all the Nobles' way as Lineman Nigel Stillman was badly injured as well.

Lord Summervale: Well, for the Nobles Nigel will probably be back for the next game of the Tournament. The Forever Jackals will have plenty of time to heal up as they will be spectators for the rest of the Tournament.

Mad Johan: Congratulations to Rick Priestley and his team as they advance to the Semi-finals.

Lord Summervale: Stay here on Cabalvision IV to see the next exciting match-up in the Princess Owayanna Bottled Healing Waters Tournament, also sponsored by Guillotine Razors and Bloodweisser. Next up will be Da' Rat Packers versus the Skulsmash Reeverz. Stay tuned!

Blood Bowl: League Play Set-up

When I first picked up the new Blood Bowl I was unsure how much I was going to do with it.  I had a few teams from previous editions but I had never had all the templates or pitch.  I left that up to other people.  Now, with the new boxed set, I had everything I needed to play BUT I was not sure I wanted to spend the money on newer teams.  This changed a bit when a new FLGS came into my town, and they were selling Blood Bowl teams for a good price, and there was the promise of some more local players.  In addition, my family began to show a lot more interest in playing the game too. 

This led to a Blood Bowl renaissance in my house.  I had managed to play several games with my hobby buddies between the Living Rulebook days and the new boxset, but they were few and far between.  Now, I had players much closer to try games with.  Soon, I had 9 teams ready to play and the Deep North League- Southern Regional Conference was born.  Sure, they are not all painted and maybe will never be painted, sure the teams were mostly just the boxed sets, sure the teams were not all optimized with 16 players….. but we had 9 legal teams ready to hit the pitch.  

My family first had to get the hang of the basics of the game with a number of exhibition games….

Human vs. Ork

Ork vs. Human

Human vs. Skaven

Dwarf vs. Ork

Chaos vs Khemri

With those out of the way, they felt ready to start some League play.  Our League consists of the following teams:

Nottingham Nobles- Human team

Skulsmash Reeverz- Ork Team

Cheeze-Ballerz- Skaven Team

Rock-N-Rollers- Dwarf Team

Goat Herderz- Chaos Team

The Black Guards- Dark Elf Team

Forever Jackals- Khemri Team (Old School- Painted)

Da’ Rat Packerz- Skaven Team (Old School- Painted)

Gridiron Gravediggers- Chaos Team (Old School- Painted)

I would not be surprised if a few more teams join the League eventually, but this is what we have to start the season off!  What better way to get started with the season than to have an Open Tournament?  The invite list would be all of the teams listed above, minus the Black Guards as they still need to be assembled.     

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Lord Summervale: Post-NAF Blood Bowl fans from the Deep North are eagerly anticipating the start of the new Blood Bowl season.  The Southern Regional Conference will be kicking the Season off with an open tournament held in honor of Princess Owyanna.

Mad Johan: Local legend claims that the original princess was gravely ill.  In desperation, her father begged a local forest spirit to cure the illness impacting his daughter.  The spirit agreed and gave her a sip of healing waters from a hidden local spring.  In return, the spirit only asked for Princess Owyanna to host a Blood Bowl Tournament in honor of the spirit. 

Lord Summervale: Hence the “Princess Owayonna: Bottled Healing Spring Water Blood Bowl Open Tournament” was born!  Nothing goes down easier after a viciously played game of Blood Bowl than a bottle of Princess Owayonna’s bottled Healing Spring Water.  Their patented enchantment will whisk away all of your aches and pains with a splash of this delightful, refreshing beverage.   

Mad Johan: After the tournament, I bet each of these teams will be celebrating their wins and drowning their pain away with a bottle!

Lord Summervale: Indeed.  This year, the competition looks fierce.  Fortunately for this year’s organizers, the Dark Elf team; the Black Guards was delayed by some coastal raiding.  Therefore, the even number of teams will make organizing the brackets easy. 

This will be a single elimination tournament.  As teams advance through the bracket, we will eventually declare a champion.  The champion will walk away with the prestigious Princess Owayonna Healing Bottled Water Trophy and a season long supply of the Princesses’ finest. 

Mad Johan: Let’s take a look at the line-ups! 

Lord Summervale: We have all ready seen these teams clash in the pre-season with some big hits and some intense scoring drives.  You can bet there will be some impressive games of Blood Bowl ahead!

Here is the bracket:

1.       The opening match will be the Forever Jackals of Khemri vs. the Nottingham Nobles at Citadel Arena. 

2.       The second match is the Skulsmash Reeverz vs Da’ Rat Packers at Freeboota Field. 

3.       The Third match will be the Cheeze-Ballerz up against the Gridiron Gravediggers in the Northern Wastes.

4.       The final match of the qualifying bracket will be the Rock-N-Rollers facing the Goat Herderz at the fable pitch of Khaz-a-Kill’m. 

Mad Johan: Those games are promising some hard-hitting match-ups!

Lord Summervale: The winners in the qualifying round will move into the semi-finals bracket, and the winners there will move onto the Finals.  The team that comes out of the Finals on top will be the tournament champions and win the Princess Owayonna Healing Bottled Water Trophy. 

With the tournament set to start, the only thing left to ask is……

Mad Johan: ….. are you ready for some Blood Bowl!